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The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Surivive and Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, by Elaine N. Aron
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How to cope when the world overwhelms you. For those people who: have a keen imagination; are labelled too shy or too sensitive; who perform poorly when being observed even though they are usually competent; have vivid dreams; for whom time alone each day is essential; and find they are quickly overwhelmed by noise and confusion, crowded parties, hectic office life...this is the book to help them understand themselves and how best to cope in various situations. Highly sensitive people are often very bright and creative but many suffer from low self esteem. They are not 'neurotics' as they have been labelled for so long. However, high sensitivity can lead them to cease to engage with the outside world. The book offers solutions for a happy and fulfilling life. Particularly in the way an HSP perceives his or herself: the book helps to 'reframe' past events, such as a difficult childhood, or how they see themselves - ie. shy. Particularly strong material for those raising a sensitive child
- Sales Rank: #2415293 in Books
- Published on: 1999-08-16
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.76" h x .75" w x 5.12" l, .18 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 272 pages
Amazon.com Review
Are you an HSP? Are you easily overwhelmed by stimuli? Affected by other people's moods? Easily startled? Do you need to withdraw during busy times to a private, quiet place? Do you get nervous or shaky if someone is observing you or competing with you? HSP, shorthand for "highly sensitive person," describes 15 to 20 percent of the population. Being sensitive is a normal trait--nothing defective about it. But you may not realize that, because society rewards the outgoing personality and treats shyness and sensitivity as something to be overcome. According to author Elaine Aron (herself an HSP), sensitive people have the unusual ability to sense subtleties, spot or avoid errors, concentrate deeply, and delve deeply. This book helps HSPs to understand themselves and their sensitive trait and its impact on personal history, career, relationships, and inner life. The book offers advice for typical problems. For example, you learn strategies for coping with overarousal, overcoming social discomfort, being in love relationships, managing job challenges, and much more. The author covers a lot of material clearly, in an approachable style, using case studies, self-tests, and exercises to bring the information home. The book is essential for you if you are an HSP--you'll learn a lot about yourself. It's also useful for people in a relationship with an HSP. --Joan Price
Review
'This remarkable book speaks clearly to highly sensitive people. It gives a fresh perspective, a sigh of relief, and a good sense of where we belong in society.' JOHN GRAY, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
From the Publisher
"This remarkable book...gives a fresh perspective, a sigh of relief, and a good sense of where we belong in society."
--John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
"Elaine Aron's perceptive analysis of this fundamental dimension of human nature is must reading. Her balanced presentation suggests new paths for making sensitivity a blessing, not a handicap."
--Philip G. Zimbardo, Ph.D., author of Shyness: What It Is, What to Do About It
"Enlightening and empowering, this book is a wonderful gift to us all."
--Riane Eisler, author of The Chalice and the Blade
Most helpful customer reviews
34 of 36 people found the following review helpful.
This book Changed My Life
By Morgine
I bought this book after seeing the movie, "Sensitives: The Untold Story! " Changing my entire life!
Things I have been attempting to change my entire life were just NORMAL attributes of an HSP!! I cannot thank Elaine enough for writing this book and for the documentary made with a Kick Start campaign! I took her test on line at her site... highly sensitive person test, and answered yes to all the questions! I cover up most lights on my computer, printer, router and such. I have no sounds except the error sound on my computer. Never could watch violent movies, sensitive to bright lights, strong smells, loud sounds. Can feel everyone when walking into a room. If you "think" you might be one, it could change your life reading this book! I think you only need to answer yes to about 14 of the many questions.
I totally understood why my parents treated me the way they did. I was overly sensitive to so many things and they did not know what to do about it! They did not know "why"! Same with friends and teachers and my sister!
I am a CHANGED person and I Highly Recommend this book to Everyone! Why? Because you might have a friend, partner, child who is highly sensitive and knowing how to treat them, can change both your relationships. It turns out not only are 15 - 20% of humans highly sensitive, so are animals and insects in the same percentages! It is a Natural Trait and not an illness or disease. Scientists can see it in brain scans and DNA testing. We have been misdiagnosed for decades as being shy, withdrawn, depressed and so on, which is not true. I love, love, loved this book!
79 of 84 people found the following review helpful.
"Specifically" written for introverted and shy HSPs.
By Eden Elspeth
"While most of our attention here is on the habitually introverted, extraverts will probably find it useful, too." Man, oh man, I wish I would have known this prior to purchasing.
A part of me feels wrong for rating this book, because it was not written for me. But I think it's important to let those picking up THSP for the same reasons I did, know that there is a strongggg focus on the introverted HSP.
If I was to numerically assign THSP a percentage, then I would say about 30% of the content applied to me as extroverted HSP. Of the 273 pages, there is only one eight-line paragraph devoted specially to "The Extraverted HSP". Had I known it was written for those inhibited, withdrawn, socially fearful HSPs, I don't think I would have bought it.
I liked the first chapter. I highlighted several portions I found to be incredibly accurate.
"HSPs can be instantly aware, whether they wish to be or not, of the mood, the friendships and enmities, the freshness or staleness of the air, the personality of the one who arranged the flowers."
"We reflect more on everything. And we sort things into finer distinctions. Like those machines that grade fruit by size - we sort into ten sizes while others sort into two or three."
Both of these insights I was already aware of, but found comfort in the confirmation. I found resonation in Dr. Aron pinpointing the HSP's highly conscientious, highly self-aware demeanor. From there on, however, I felt excluded much of the time; it was a slow fade into gradual and total disconnect.
Dr. Aron goes into great detail in the second and third chapter, explaining "arousal," a word she uses as a synonym for "stimulation," and the affect it has on an HSP. I found some of this useful and insightful, as I can be bothered by too much noise, bright lights, uncomfortable clothing, etc..., but the majority of the content is devoted to helping "shy" persons overcome the egregious label that has shaped so much of their personality. At the middleish portion of this book - which goes on for about 75 pages - these are the Chapters Titles you can expect to find: Appreciating the Introverted Style, Carl Jung on the Introverted Style, Making Friends, Learning More Social Skill, Best Social Advice for HSPs, Do you know the latest on overcoming social discomfort? ... For me, this is where there was a HUGE disconnect. I am not shy. I am outgoing, social, and enjoy meeting new people. Contradictorily, this book contains several strategies on how to help HSPs learn to be the three characteristics I just mentioned. I found myself flipping through the pages, fairly disheartened, trying to find something I could relate to.
What I was hoping for was a closer look at the more emotional side of living as a Highly Sensitive Person. I wanted the emphasis not to be on personality types, but on how the universal HSP absorbs life, seen through our very distinct, sensitive eyes. I did not want to be told I am special. I think by now, most of us anyway, have come to accept and understand that our sensitivity IS a strength, but one that often times appears as a weakness because our response every time is an emotional one. I wanted to read deeper about the HSP's evolution. I wanted to read about the HSP's heart and soul, and how everyday experiences and conversations and relationships affect The Sensitive Person's innermost being. Mainly, I wanted to spoken with - not at. For me, this book reads like a Spiritual Guru's research manual. Yes, there are real-life situations documented, but even those felt sterile and distant at times.
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
MUST READ!!! If you have a traumatic experience that you're holding onto then it's time to read this book!
By Renae
Wow… This book was INCREDIBLE!!!! I'm still trying to take in everything that is brought to the front of my mind that I never realized or even thought about until I read this book. I don't think this is just for sensitive people but for everyone. If anyone has dealt with any kind of trauma in their lives or as a child that causes you to be an internal person than I think this book is for you. It will help you start to realize that you keep yourself in a protective shell inside your body because that's where you feel most comfortable. This book will help you realize what you've done to allow yourself to stay there and not become the person that you truly were meant to be. It's time to start dealing with your past once and for all and move PAST it… Letting anything control who you are and what you do isn't good. There is more happiness in your life than you could ever imagine.. Again this is a MUST READ.
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